Annabelle Speaks

Becoming Dagny and Other Exercise Rambling

Several years ago my Mom started doing a Pilates video at home (Winsor Pilates, I think?), and like many exercise videos, there were a few different people on screen doing modified versions of the exercises in case you needed them.  I don't remember what the name of the woman who did the "advanced" version of the moves was named, but the woman doing the "basic, no really, even more basic" version was named Dagny.  Most people start by following Dagny's moves, of course, but the idea is to move up from there.  It wasn't long before my mom left Dagny in the dust.

I've never found a home exercise video I've been able to stick to, but I have been going to group classes at my gym, which operate in a similar fashion.  If there is more than one instructor one will often do modified/simpler versions of various moves, or if there is only one she'll throw in modified versions of moves here and there to show you how to skip the jumping/bending/go easier on your knees/[insert your modification here].

My favorite class to go to is called Group Groove.  It's a dance class similar to Zumba, but with more urban/hip hop mixed into the dancing.  I love it so, so much.  More than that.  So much so that I go at least once a week, sometimes up to three times a week.  With that kind of exposure I memorize the new choreography (released every three months) faster than most.  At 23 weeks pregnant (OMG) what that means is that I've memorized all the modifications, too. 

Basically I've become Dagny.  1/3rd of the way through the dance, when the instructor shows a modification, I'm already doing it.  Soon I fear they are just going to start pointing to me.  "If you need to modify this, just follow Annabelle!  I hear she also answers to Dagny."

Modified-dance-moves-complaints aside, I really don't have anything to whine about.  The pregnancy continues to go swimmingly, and my stamina and ability to move my body is still surprisingly mostly as it was.  I'm even running a 5K (with permission from my doctors) on April 14th.  I'm running the Race to Wrigley, which I ran for the first time last year.  It was my favorite race, mostly because it ends running through Wrigley Field, which is pretty cool.

So I may be turning into Dagny, and my pace-per-mile is slower than it was last year, but I'm still moving, and it's going surprisingly well.  Whoo hoo!

A Boy!

A boy!  I'm growing a son! You all are very good guessers.  Between here, Twitter, Facebook, and coworkers the guesses of "boy" outnumbered the guesses of "girl" almost three to one.  T and I would be excited beyond measure either way (we didn't have a strong preference), knowing the sex of LittleBit makes this feel a lot more real all of the sudden.  That and the constant kicks to the kidneys.

My Dad, who "retired" (mostly, sort of) last summer is clearly geared up to mold LittleBit into another Packer Fan (as he would have been either way, boy or girl), as I got the following edited ultrasound picture from him yesterday.

Cutest little cheese-head EVER, obviously.  We can't wait to meet him.

Last Chance Guesses & My Adorable Mom

20 weeks today, and this pregnancy is officially half done.  Woah.

First of all, the big 20 week ultrasound is tomorrow, and YES, we do hope to find out if we're having a boy-Littlebit or a girl-Littlebit.  So if you are into guessing now would be the time!  The ultrasound is at 11am, but depending on how fast we can get ahold of grandparents and such it might be Monday before I'll get to post the results here.

As for my own guess, I keep changing my mind.  When I first got pregnant, and through about 15 weeks or so, I was 100% sure it was a boy when I was awake, but I kept having dreams that it was a girl.  Later, when the dreams started to convince awake-me that I might be having a girl, I had a dream that it was a boy.  So!  I'm right either way, I just don't know if awake me or asleep me is right.  Both my mom and my aunt M (also my Godmother) have always thought it was a boy as well, until they both had dreams it was a girl a week or so ago.  So weigh that into your guesses if you are so inclined.

Secondly, I got the cutest package in the mail from my mom yesterday, and I have to share.

 

Text: Dear Littlebit,

Here are some bibs for you.  I know you don't need them yet, but you will.  After all, you are Paul Fisher's grandchild.  Yes, Grandpa, at 57 years old should still use bibs sometimes.  :)

Love, Grandma 

Isn't my mom the cutest? These are the bibs.

 

Best Shirt EVER

After seeing a non-maternity version of this shirt on Pinterest (without the arrow, obviously), I could not resist making what I have decided is CLEARLY the best maternity shirt of all time.  80s reference + dance movie reference + maternity pun = WIN.

I wonder if the baby will grow up to be as easily amused as me?

State of the Pregnancy: 17w4d

For a first-time mom I sure am failing at documenting this pregnancy.  Last week T posted a picture of me and my very-obviously-pregnant belly on Facebook, and I think that was probably the first the Internet-at-large had seen of me in a while.

Hey, look! A pregnant Annabelle!

I think the reason I'm not documenting much of this pregnancy here is that there's really not that much to document.  I never really got sick, I don't have much in the way of aches and pains, and I can still get up off the couch/floor/bed without much strain.  In fact yesterday I commented to T that it's amazing I am 17 weeks along and still feel completely normal - possibly better than normal.  I know that won't last, so I'm trying to enjoy it while I have it.

The only Big News I have, which you already know if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, is that as of February 12th (when I was 16w3d) I can feel the wee little rave that Littlebit is throwing in my abdomen.  S/he is most active after Zumba/Groove (dance exercise classes at my gym) or when I'm really hungry.  Mostly I feel the movement in the afternoons and evenings.  Last week at my OB appointment the doctor was amazed I was feeling the baby with such regularity already - she said first-time moms usually don't feel this kind of regular movement until 19 weeks or so.  Overachieving fetus!

The Big Reveal ultrasound, where we'll try to find out if Littlebit is a boy or a girl, is scheduled for March 9th, when I'll be 20w1d.  Right now opinions are pretty split down the middle by family lines, with my family thinking it's a boy and T's family thinking it's a girl.  I've thought it was a boy from day one (at the insemination appointment, in fact), though earlier in the pregnancy I had three separate dreams and in all of them the baby was a girl.  More recently I've been thinking maybe my subconscious is right and it is a girl, which of course means that this weekend I had a dream that the baby is a boy.  Of course.  I'm currently thinking "boy" again, but who knows.

So in short, I'm doing well - I feel good. I make it to the gym three days a week, twice for relatively intense cardio and once to work with a prenatal certified personal trainer on weightlifting.  Food remains relatively uninteresting to me, which explains my non-weight gain (net down three pounds since day of conception), but my doctor is happy, so I'm fine.

So that's where I'm at - 17w4d.

How We Found Out

One more story from when we first got me pregnant, then I promise to write/talk about something more current, like how I would shank someone right now for a grilled cheese sandwich.

Thirteen days after the IUI the fertility clinic had me come back in for a blood test to find out if it worked. Because we wouldn't get the blood test results instantly, but over the phone hours later, Teryn didn't come with to the clinic. Instead we opted to try an at-home test together that morning before I left, knowing that it was possible we could get a false negative on the at-home test and I could find out without T (foreshadowing!).

As I bet you've guessed by now, the at-home test was negative.. I didn’t feel particularly sad at that point, but just marched on with my day.  My normal set of PMS symptoms had shown up a few days earlier, so I was already preparing myself for the seemingly inevitable negative result.

Later that morning I went in for a blood test at the fertility clinic, feeling a little down about “wasting” a test when I was obviously not pregnant.  I spent the morning at work composing a list of questions for the nurse about next steps, shipping the next set of sperm vials from the sperm bank to the fertility clinic, etc.  When she called at 11:30am I grabbed my list and was about to jump into my questions when she shocked the hell out of me with “Congratulations!  It was positive!”

Stunned does not begin to describe how I felt.  My heart split in half and part shot down to my toes while the other part lodged itself in my throat.  I fell into my chair more than I sat down.  I think I asked her half a dozen times if she was SURE.  Are you sure those are my results?  Anne Fisher?  Really?  Really, really sure?  ARE YOU SURE?

Because T was with her mom (and we already decided not to tell close family until 10 weeks), I couldn’t call her until later in the afternoon.  I spent four hours at my desk vibrating with excitement; positively beside myself and wishing SO MUCH that I could share this with SOMEONE

By 3:30 I was finally able to talk to T and give her the news.  See up there a couple paragraphs ago, where I was freaking out and asking “ARE YOU SURE?  REALLY?” over and over?  Just read that again and substitute T in the narrative and you have exactly how she took the news. We are clearly a matched pair.

A Conception Story

I won't have a birth story to share for many months yet, but a surprisingly large number of people follow their "congrats!" upon hearing of the pregnancy with "...how does that work?"  Hell, I'd be nosey about it if roles were reversed.  Be warned that while there are no pictures (YOU'RE WELCOME), it is medically graphic to a degree, so feel free to skip this entry if that isn't your thing.

Teryn and I went through California Cryobankto buy sperm.  As my genes are already in the mix (being that it is me who is knocked up), T did the first-pass on searching for a sperm donor who sounded at least on paper a lot like her and her family - blond curly hair, blue eyes, musical, smart, etc.  She narrowed it down to six or seven donors before I joined in. At that point we looked through all of the amazing amounts of detail and medical history, talked about their differences, and re-ranked them, eventually narrowing it down to one choice who had vials available, so we made the purchase.

Meanwhile I was busy getting all of my medical stuff in order with the fertility clinic - they needed my most recent pap results, a letter from my diabetes endocrinologist approving the plan to get pregnancy, and a metric ton of blood tests.  T and I also had to go to a 30-minute "session" with the fertility clinic's psychologist, a requirement of anyone using donor sperm.

Next up was a series of ultrasounds, a base-line ultrasound within the first four days of my period, a saline ultrasound around cycle day 11 where they squirted saline solution in my uterus to measure the lining (this was gross feeling, as what goes in must come out), and a third on day 18 when I should have been close to ovulation (long cycle).  The last ultrasound showed I was pretty much going to ovulate any moment, so we scheduled IUI for the next morning and the morning after that.

The IUI itself was a lot like a pap. They said I might feel pressure when they did the actual insemination, but I didn't.  Afterwards they had me stay laying down for ten minutes (they set a timer!) and then go about my regular day.  T spend the ten minute wait wishing aloud for a sandwich, because she's classy like that. Also because I couldn't reach her from the table to swat her.

And that's really all it took. From there we went through our two-week-wait, alternately convinced I was TOTALLY PREGNANT and then TOTALLY NOT PREGNANT, because I'm very reasonable and sane like that. We were incredibly lucky that I got pregnant on the first try, so we didn't have to deal with multiple cycles. Though having it work on the first try did mean that T wasn't able to fulfill her dream of bringing a sandwich to the next set of IUI to eat during the ten minute wait. Alas.

12 weeks 4 days: Totally Pregnant

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT??

Looks like somewhere around July 26th Teryn and I will no longer be a family of two, but a family of three.  Awwww.

First trimester has gone SHOCKINGLY well for me so far, other than the non-stop dry-heaving.  But!  I'm not puking!  So I win!  Or something.  It has been positively KILLING me to stay quiet on this.  We found out on November 15th (via blood test at the doctor's office after the home test was WRONG, but that is a story for another day), told parents at Christmas, and now it's finally time to tell all of you.

I'm pregnant.  We're going to be MOMS.  I've never been so excited and terrified of something in my life.  It's going to be so awesome.

2011

(This list of questions originates with  Linda at All & Sundry.  My 2010 version is here.)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

Ran a race!  Actually I ran six races.  One 8K, one 4-mile, and four 5Ks.  I actually started running in late 2010, but didn't run an actual race until April 2011, so we'll count this for this year.  Then I hurt my foot mid July and haven't been able to run much since, even after a cast and a couple months of physical therapy.  SADFACE.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't typically write out formal New Year's Resolutions, but this time last year I did start working REALLY hard on eating better and exercising, and I kept that up.  I doubt I'll write any specific resolutions for 2012 either.  Odd, with how much I generally like lists, but it just doesn't appeal to me (right now anyway).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Many internet friends had babies this year, but none of my in-real-life friends did.  There were a couple of engagements though, so yay for them.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

Ha, no.  2010 was a big year of travel (to domestic locations), so 2011 was more a year of vacations close to home, primarily visiting family.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn't have in 2011?

The ability to sleep past 4am, oh my hell.

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

This summer I got to be there when John proposed to my "baby sis" (who is 23 now HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?) and I will never, ever forget that.  I've known Heather and her family since she was a year old and she is as much family to me as my actual family.  The fact that John invited me to be there and included T and I in the celebration after means the world to me.

On October 15th I also got to see another one of my former babysitting charges get married, and I'm quite sure I cried more happy tears that day than I ever have before in my life.  These kids just keep growing up and becoming happy, healthy ADULTS and it BLOWS MY MIND.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I'm going to go with the running six races thing again (and improving my time with each race), along with joining and continuing to go to my gym for both group fitness classes and personal training sessions.  Before late 2010 when I started running I'd never run a mile straight in my entire life.  I avoided physical activity as much as humanly possible because I decided sometime long ago that I'm just not good at athletic stuff.  Much to my surprise, it turns out I was wrong - I'm actually pretty good at that stuff, or so says my improved-race times and gushing personal trainer.

9. What was your biggest failure?

While I continued to be an exercise rock-star, my healthy eating sort of went away for a large chunk of 2011.  I'm getting back on track (slowly), but my word is that hard.  Exercising is way easier than eating healthy food I don't like.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I hurt my foot in July running and landed myself in a cast followed by a couple months of physical therapy (following the casts on the same foot and physical therapy also in 2009 and 2010).  It still hurts a lot now (along with a hip thing I'm mostly pretending to ignore), but there is nothing more to do short of surgery, and I'm not ready to go there yet.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My iPad2 and I are BFF.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

T continues to awe her professors at school, even getting invited to present a class presentation at some kind of forum thingy, which was super cool for her.  My dad "retired" and is doing his own consulting thing, and I'm happy to see him so excited about what he is doing.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

All the jackasses who knew what was going on at Penn State and did nothing.  They can all go rot in hell.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and medical expenses, nothing exciting.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting the okay from all of my various doctors to start trying to have a baby.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Colbie Caillat - Brighter Than the Sun.  Though that may just remind me of this month, so that could leak over and remind me of 2012, too.  But it's my favorite song of the moment, and I smile whenever I hear it on the radio.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier, slightly fatter, slightly poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I wish I was able to spend more time with my family, but that is more of a distance-and-money issue than that I didn't make it a priority.  It's just hard to live 400 miles from home, you know?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I wish I hadn't wasted so much time/money on physical therapy that didn't really help.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We drove up to Minnesota to visit my family.  Christmas Eve was spent in Wisconsin at my aunt and uncle's farm, then Christmas mid-morning we drove back to Minnesota, took naps, opened MORE presents, and watched the Packers kick some football ass.  Other than the call for an ambulance for my aunt at 6am on Christmas morning (she is now home from the hospital and fine), it was a lovely, low-key holiday.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I've kind of fallen in love with a fuzzy pillowcase I got at Target a few weeks ago, but don't tell my wife.  She might make me share.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I don't think I have a favorite.  Most of the shows I watch are sort of a way of killing time right now.  I did enjoy The Next Iron Chef, Alphas, and I'm starting to watch and like Haven.  I continue to watch an unreal number of crime-dramas (Rizzoli & Isles, Law & Order reruns, Bones, etc.).

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hating is exhausting.  I prefer my rage in small bursts at particular new stories and/or idiotic celebrities (see: Charlie Sheen), but sustained hate is well beyond my attention span.

24. What was the best book you read?

I'm currently reading my 54th book of 2011, which is EXACTLY the same number of books I read each in 2010 and 2009.  I am surprisingly consistent.  By the rankings I put in Goodreadsmy favorites this year were Room, Bag of Bones, and Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don't listen to a lot of music, I mostly leave musical discovery up to T.

26. What did you want and get?

A gym membership, an all-clear from my doctors, and an iPad2 (hey, they can't ALL be healthy things.)

27. What did you want and not get?

An iPhone 4S (I'm waiting for the iPhone 5 hopefully next year.)

28. What was your favorite film of 2011?

The Muppet Movie!!  The Rainbow Connection simply broke me (SOBBING IN THE THEATRE), but I loved the cheesiness and the jokes and the songs and and and...I just really liked it. 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 31 and T and I went out to dinner and a movie.  Nothing big, just a low-key evening.  I think I managed to fit in a nap, too, which is very like me.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More sleep.  Insomnia mixed with narcolepsy BLOWS, in case I haven't made that clear.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011?

Ha.  Um....hey, this looks like it mostly matches?  And is clean?

32. What kept you sane?

The friends who live in my computer/email/on Twitter.  What did people do before the internet?  Also naps help, since I can only sleep during the day.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Not sure.  I can't think of any TV-loves-of-my-life this year.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Illinois (where I live) now allows same-sex civil unions, which is a great start.  Maybe someday I'll actually be able to MARRY my wife.  Dream big, I say.

35. Who did you miss?

Alex.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Hmm, I can't think of many new people I met in 2011.  I'll go with everyone I've met at my gym (teachers, trainers, fitness professionals, etc.) since they are so supportive and helpful and lovely.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I can totally do that, and it doesn't really matter what "that" is.  I can totally do that.  Run a mile, run five miles, lift weights, take a dance class.  That.  All of that.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Right this moment you don't know it
But you're standing prepared
For the advent of all the big stuff
Had you runnin' 'round scared
And because of all that
Life gets simpler in fact

Learn to breathe, when to yield
Find what can be and cannot be healed
On the crest of the wheel - life gets real

Ann Reed - Life Gets Real

Soup Aisle Smackdown

Dear small, downtown grocery store,

I understand that as a smallish grocery store smack in the middle of down-town Chicago that you can't carry every product I could ever need or want.  Real estate is expensive and you only have so much space.  However, maybe if you cut down on the dried-bean soup mix collection you would be able to stock one damn bag of dried lentils.

Sincerely,

Anne